


Determination and Monks

by SlySlyth



Series: A Second Chance [1]
Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: Angst, Dark, Evil Xena - Freeform, F/F, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, Monks, Post-Finale, Romance, mention of a characters death, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-22
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-06-10 00:57:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6931405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlySlyth/pseuds/SlySlyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She stood up angry and resentful. “I will get you back. I swear it Xena.” She headed to the nearest town. She needed a temple</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Grand Shelter

Gabrielle watched the sunset as she held the ashes that she should’ve dumped. 

“Xena!” She screamed in anguish. “Why?!” She fell to the ground, her sobs coming out in waves. All of the good Xena had done. All of the good they had done together. It wasn’t enough for the Gods. Why did she have to be stripped away from her happy ending? 

She stood up angry and resentful. “I will get you back. I swear it Xena.” She headed to the nearest town. She needed a temple.

She was headed toward a monastery. She would learn all there is to learn about the Japanese Gods and she would convince them to bring back her Xena. 

They would see reason. 

~~

She walked into town and glanced around. She walked up to someone. “Temple?” She made a prayer motion. The woman she was talking to pointed to up a hill. She followed the woman's finger with her eyes and saw the gate to what had to be their local temple. She sighed. Of course she would have to walk up a giant hill to get there. At least in Greece the temples weren’t always on hills or the tops of mountains. 

She headed up the hill. She glanced back at the town. It looked peaceful. It looked like the place Xena and her were fighting to ensure everyone had. Her eyes filled with tears as she continued up the mountain. She reached the top and hit the gate as hard as she could. Within 5 minutes the gates were being opened and a monk in orange robes appeared before her. 

“I want to pray.” She made a motion for praying. The monk shook his head no and moved behind the door to close it. She huffed and sat down. They would let her in. She would sit at the gate door for as long as it took. It was starting to get dark so she went into the forested area to the right of the temple and gathered up some wood. She went back to the temple and set up her little camp at the right edge of the wall that lead to the gates. She organized her bed so that if they came out, they would see her. She threw her pack down beside her makeshift bed made out of leaves. She sat beside the fire. She should’ve gotten something to eat in town. Her stomach was hungry but her mind was telling her she was full. She frowned at the fire. 

“I miss you Xena. This is the first night in a while that you wouldn’t have been here to keep me warm or remind me about our strength. I hope you’re okay in the afterworld.” She looked up at the sky and looked at the sky.“ She sighed and laid back against the her leaf bed. She fell asleep making sure she remembered what Xena looked like when she was happy. 

She woke when the light of the sun hit her back. She headed into the woods and grabbed more wood so she could start the morning fire. After the fire was lit she felt her stomach growl. She rummaged in her bag, she still had some bread and cheese. It still had a few days before it went bad. She ripped the bread and pulled off some some cheese. She wrapped the rest up in a cloth and stuffed it back in her bag. 

“When do you think they’ll let me in Xena?” She asked out loud with her mouth full of food. “I don’t know how long I can wait before I scale over the gate.” “Gabrielle.” she heard beside her. She turned, still expecting to see the warrior woman but instead saw a monk looking at her from the gate. She watched as the monk darted back inside. She scoffed. She wasn’t going to force them to let her in. 

She stood up. She needed to do something. She started working on her forms, being sure not to end up in the fire or down the hill. She looked at the sun when she was done and groaned. It was only about a candle mark from the middle of the day.

She plopped on the ground and rummaged through her bag. She produced a scroll and her ink set. As much as she hated the last adventure with Xena it did need written down. She decided to start with the army and Xena’s new armor. “Gods that armor.” She felt the lust and then the crushing depression behind it. She choose not to let the depression affect her and instead turned it into the drive for getting Xena back. She dipped her quill and started writing. She was almost halfway done with the scroll when the first few drops started. 

She slightly panicked, not wanting her scroll to be ruined. She quickly rolled it up and put her inks away. By the time she got over to the trees the rain was coming down in a sheet of uncomfortable wetness. She sighed and leaned against the trunk of one of the only bigger trees. The rain was over just as quick as it began. She watched the rain fall and felt the occasional drop fall from the leaves above her to her head. She sighed and imagined home. Imagined Xena holding her from behind, whispering facts about the environment around her. She could almost feel Xena's embrace. Could almost feel the familiarity in the breath on her neck or the shuffle of feet behind hers. She wiped a tear away as she leaned against a tree trunk. She would need a new camp. She sighed and went further into the forest on the hill to collect supplies to build a more efficient shelter. 

She walked into the forest with her head held high. Her resolve wouldn’t waiver with just a few raindrops. She looked around and spotted some branches and dead limbs. Some looked strong enough to be the foundation of her shelter. She grabbed a few and dragged them to where her camp was. She headed back into the forest and grabbed some thinner and longer branches. Those would make the bottom of her temporary shelter. She saw a half dead tree as she started to head back to her camp to make the starts of her shelter. She could make a wind breaker using the wood from the dead tree. 

She went back to her camp and opened her pack up. She didn’t have any string or extra cloth. She had two furs and if she ripped the smaller of the two she could use it as a type of binding to hold all of the branches together. She frowned. She hadn’t really prepared for this type of adventure but then again, most of her adventures with Xena she had only been half prepared for. 

She made the A frame of her shelter, tying the branches together with the strips of her fur. She took the smaller branches and laid them on the top of the square frame that would be where she slept. She sighed and looked up at the rain clouds. She needed to find some tree branches with a lot of leaves to make up the roof of her shelter. Luckily she still had some cheese and bread. There's no way she could keep a fire lit tonight to cook some meat. 

She headed back into the forest. Her brow creased in determination as she climbed up tree to get at the branches with leaves. She was an Amazon Queen for Gods sake. A little tree climbing came with the title after all. She used her sais to cut down some branches and then climbed down. She went to the next tree and did the same thing. After she had cut down what she felt would block out the rain from her bed, she took three trips to carry them over. She was almost out of fur strips. She sighed as she started digging a little hole in the ground next to her with her sais. She let the water in and started making a thick mud. She placed it on the leaves and the branches and stuck the second and third layer of leaves around her shelter on. 

She would deal with the wind breaker tomorrow if she felt she needed it. She needed to add on a roof to her shelter tomorrow as well. Something that could cover her fire pit and ensure that the weather wouldn’t keep her from a flame. 

She finally crawled into her shelter. She had moved her pack and other items into the bed area once the first layer of the roof had been done. She sighed at how wet everything was. If it didn’t rain tomorrow, she would hang everything out to dry. At least her scroll hadn’t been ruined. She laid down beside her pack, her larger fur covering the bed. She felt the depression settle within her again. She was alone. She felt the tears sting. 

“I made a shelter Xena. It’s not as grand as you would have made it.” She chuckled at the memories of Xena’s temporary shelters. “I was going to write our last adventure out but I’m stuck Xena. I get to the part with the arrows and I just...I freeze. I don’t want to remember your death Xena. I don’t want to have to relive it.” She sniffled and wiped at a tear. “I hope you can hear my thoughts Xena. Please help me. I can’t do this alone.” She closed her eyes and finally gave into the exhaustion that crept up into her mind as she talked.


	2. Tomorrow

She woke to the sound of a bell. She sat up rubbing her eyes. It was still raining. She sighed as she grabbed her breakfast. At least it was gray out. She could finish her scroll and make the covering for her fire, she would need to set some basic traps out. If she could get her fire started anyway. Wet wood was always a fun thing to work with when trying to a build a fire. 

She set out to that half dead tree she had found. It was only slightly taller than her and she slammed against it using her bodies weight. She propped her foot on it and leaned down. She could head the roots giving under her. She tried it from another angle and soon the tree was on the ground. She took out the sai she had been using to cut with. She would need to sharpen it tonight. She cut the branches of the tree off. She couldn’t really do anything with the bigger parts of the tree. She didn’t have anything to cut it with. She collected the wood she gathered into a pile and brought it back to her camp. The smaller branches she could use in a fire. She set it on her bed to keep them dry. She headed back into the forest. She needed to find some wood she could run from her shelter to the fire pit. She knew she would need to cut down some more leaves. She sighed and set to work.

It was about 2 hours later when she finished her roof. She had left a hole to the slight right of where she was going to put her fire pit to leave it room to breath. She used her sais and started digging her pit. She set the dry wood she had collected from her bed onto the fire pit. She rummaged around in her pack until she felt the flint. She knicked it a couple times over the leaves she had put inside of her wood in the pit. After a few times the flint and her sais caused the desired reaction and she had some warmth. She sighed and smiled against the warmth, setting her hands out. She had found some darker berries growing deeper in the forest. She hoped they weren’t poisonous but even so, if she died, she would be with Xena. 

She popped a few in her mouth. They were a little bitter but they satisfied her stomach for the time being. She settled back onto her bed. She would set some traps tomorrow. She had made sure to set aside some of the dry wood for her meal tomorrow. She could survive in the cold rain. Nothing she hadn’t done before. She peeked her head around the corner at the gates to the monastery. She had pretty sure they were watching her closely. She had found footprints around her camp that weren’t from her when she came back from her last trip into the forest. 

“I wonder what the monks are waiting for Xena. I wonder how long I’m going to live out here. Maybe I should’ve gone home. There’s nothing there for me though. We killed the Gods. Eve is all I have left now.” She looked down at the fire from her bed. “I wish you were to tell me of an adventure you’d had before you met me. To tell me all you can about the history and the different facts you know of these lands.” She looked into the forest from her bed. Xena had always been a fountain of knowledge. Gabrielle had come to find her depression comforting for now. It was a sad thought but her memories of Xena are what kept her at bay. She would get her back. She felt the fire within her only grow. 

//

It was the 6th day of her living outside the monastery. She was staring at her unfinished scroll. The rain had stopped two days ago. She had a pile of wood on the right of her bed. The berries she had been collected were in her pack and the rabbit she caught today she had been rolling over the fire. She looked at her half cooked rabbit. 

“Xena.” She said aloud. “Remember the time that rabbit attacked me. I had been wearing that sack as a shirt because you had taken my shirt while I was bathing to tie up that prisoner.” She smiled at how she had yelled at Xena. It had seemed dire then but now it just seemed funny. She touched the spot on her neck where the faint scar from that insane rabbit had bit her. She heard the gates of the monastery open and peeked to look. A monk was headed toward her camp. He glanced at her camp and then locked eyes. 

“Tomorrow you come in with us. Be ready.” His accent made it hard for her to understand him but she understood him enough. She nodded at him, a slight bow. 

“Thank you.” When she looked up at him he nodded and headed back to the gate. “Hear that Xena? They’re finally letting me in. I bet you had something to do with it too.”


	3. Incense in a Cup

The morning couldn’t have come fast enough. She hardly got any sleep, the anticipation of what awaited her keeping her up. She heard the bell and then the gates to the monastery open. A monk stood by the gate waiting. She grabbed her pack, which she had reorganized after her dinner and climbed out of her bed. She reached the monk and followed him. He lead her through a series of doors until they came to a room. Outside of the room he pointed to her boots. 

“Off.” He simply commanded. She nodded and quickly took them off. She set them down nice and neat beside a pair of wooden shoes. She headed and inside and there was a monk dressed in different colored robes sitting at the end of a table that rose only high enough off of the floor for him to sit beside. She sat on a pillow across from him. 

“I am the head of this monastery. You may call me Maha. Why have you been camping outside our gate?” He locked eyes with Gabrielle searching for the truth within them. 

“My soulmate had to go to the afterlife to atone for crimes she has already paid the debt for. I want to speak to the Gods. Convince them to release her and let us have the life we deserve.” She never broke the contact he initiated and kept her hands in her lap. His eyes flickered when Gabrielle said she. He remained quiet for a few seconds. 

“Okay. We’ll make you into a monk. We'll teach you the way.” He looked toward the door. “Daigu.” He called. The monk who had led Gabrielle to the head monk entered the room. He nodded at his superior as he awaited the commands that were sure to follow. 

“Take nen to her room.” The head ordered the monk. 

“Yes, Maha-Thera.” The monk bowed deeply at his superior. “This way.” He directed toward Gabrielle. They walked out of the room. He slipped his wooden shoes back on and she grabbed her boots. “We wake with the bell and pray. Then we eat. We work until the following bell and pray again and eat. We meditate until the last bell and then we eat and pray. Maha-Thera will oversee you directly as your teacher.” They stopped at a door. She set her shoes down infront of the door. “You’re new outfit is inside. When the bell rings, head to the courtyard. I’ll show you where we eat.” He bowed at her. 

“Thank you!” She called after him. She opened the door to her new room.She walked inside and had to step slightly up. There a similar table to the one that Maha had them sit by in the middle of her room. Her new outfit was sitting on it. A folded piece of white cloth and some wooden shoes. She noticed a pile of bedding in the far left of the room. She set her pack in the right corner and resisted the urge to cry.

“They let me in Xena. I’m a step closer to you.” She started to strip and went over to her new clothes. She set the shoes beside the table and moved the folded cloth. There were pants and a jacket that had a sash to hold in place at the waist. She slid the pants on and then put the jacket on, keeping her breast binding on. She didn’t want to risk the chance of flashing anyone with how loose fitting the uniform was. 

She looked at the wooden shoes and felt a little apprehensive about using them. She would ask Maha later if she could go barefoot instead. She glanced at her pack. Her old clothes and her sais were in them. She shook her head. She wouldn’t be needing those while she was here. 

She sat down in front of the table and faced the door. She hadn’t even noticed the shrine by the door. There was a statue of Buddha surrounded in candles and a few coins. She bowed her head at the shrine in respect. Every God was different she had found. Her favorite Gods being from the lands she came from. The Gods that were dead. The Gods that Xena and herself had killed. 

“He had mentioned meditation Xena.” She smiled. “I still remember that place we went too where I almost became a blue statue. You saved me Xena, like you always have.” 

The bell sounded. She jumped at the sound and smiled. She got up and headed toward the courtyard. She Maha and headed straight for him, Daigu nowhere to be seen. She approached and bowed at him as she had seen the others do. When she straightened he waved his hand as a signal to follow her. 

“You must fast for 24 days. We must find where your strength comes from and rid you of any toxic thoughts. To become enlightened you must be in tune with yourself.” He told her as they headed into a dining area. The smell of the food was intoxicating. A vegetable soup had been made for the evening meal. She nodded her head. 

“Yes Maha.” She responded eager to begin her training. He directed her on where to sit. Once Maha sat at the front table everyone bowed their heads. Her eyes went wide and then she followed. Maha said something that sounded like a pray and once everyone lifted their heads they began to eat. She looked at the bread and water set before her. She imagined that the bread was a great hen, cooked just to perfection and that the water was wine that Xena’s mother had made. She smiled as she ate and drank, the monks around her eyeing her with curiosity as to why she was smiling when she was fasting. She ate slowly so her stomach wouldn’t yell at her. She drank her water up and the monk beside her handed her a pitcher. She refilled her glass and quickly half of the pitcher was gone. 

“I must’ve been dehydrated, huh Xena?” She stared at her empty plate but instead of seeing only air, she saw the bones of the hen she just devoured and the grease from meat on her fingers. 

Maha stood and left, signalling to the other monks that the time to eat was done. She stood and decided she wanted to see the grounds. She headed to the courtyard, her wooden shoes clacking against the rocks. There were flowers and trees all around the field that encompassed the monastery. Most of the flowers had wilted and but the trees were still blooming. She smiled at the sweet smell of the flowers. 

“You would’ve loved the flowers Xena.” She carefully walked to one of the trees and touched the bark gently. She turned to her right and went to go on the grass. She took her wooden shoes off and ran her fingers through the grass before she went to walk through it. The grass was soft as she walked around the inside of the wall of the monastery. Monks watched her through the window. She saw a few monks sitting beneath trees meditating. She smiled and walked past them heading to the biggest tree within the walls. She glanced at the couple of incense sticks that were burning at the base of the tree in a cup. She decided to move on and when she came to the next tree, it was rather small, she sat at the base of it, sitting in the shade. She crossed her legs and leaned her back to the trunk. 

She closed her eyes and attempted to focus, to let go of what troubled her and to see where her mind's eye would take her. Suddenly she was at the cliff face looking out into the forest, watching the sunset. Xena sat beside her. “I have to do this Gabrielle.” She whispered. “I will always be with you. I will always love you and come back to you.” Gabrielle felt the panic at her words and frowned. “There has to be another way Xena. You’ve already done so much. You’ve taught me so much.” She pleaded. Xena shook her head, always impressed by her others determination. Xena put her hand on Gabrielles. She conveyed so much with so little. In the distance Gabrielle heard the slight sound of a bell dinging and opened her eyes. She was greeted by the monastery and the sounds of monks shuffling to their rooms. 

She sighed as she stood. Hopefully tomorrow's lesson wouldn’t be bad but she wasn’t going to hold out hope. The first day of training was usually the hardest.


	4. My Warrior

She was woken to the sound of a bell. The sound rippled through the air. She heard the monks in the rooms beside her stirr. She got up slowly and groaned. She hated mornings. She looked at the empty fur beside her bedroll. She decided she would set it out for Xena’s spirit to sit and lay on whenever Gabrielle was asleep. She rolled up the fur and then rolled up her bedset, putting them where she found them, only setting the fur beside her bed items. She went to where she had laid her clothes on top of the table. She bowed at the Buddha statue as she past to get to her clothes. She slid them all on and was quickly out of her door. She shuffled into the line of Monks headed to the largest building in the monastery. It was considered sacred space and was only stepped into in the beginning of each day. As she got closer to the entrance she stared in awe at the carvings that were in the stone of the building. She finally entered the building and the biggest shrine of Buddha was on the back wall. It had cups of incense and coins, some fruit stacked around it and some expensive looking cloth. She bowed at the first monk she came too and he said something she couldn’t understand. The next monk she came too gave her a strip of cloth and said some more words in a language she didn’t understand. The third monk took the strip of cloth back and said some words. The final monk was Maha and he had been watching her go through the prayer. 

“May the day bring you wisdom and understanding.” He said as they bowed to each other. She shuffled with the line and found herself headed toward the dining area. She took the same seat she had yesterday and saw the bread loaf on the plate with a cup of water. She smiled, imagining what she saw was a pile of eggs and bacon, maybe even some fish. 

The monk beside her saw the look she was giving off and moved the water pitcher to be in between them. She nodded in thanks and slowly ate her bread. This small loaf had a hint of honey in it and she could feel the appreciation mounting in her heart. It took 6 bites but she had eaten her small loaf of bread. She quickly drank the water and sat satisfied. She didn’t even notice what the other monks were eating. 

“This is good Xena. You’ve done this before for me and I’m going to do it for you.” She ran her hand through her hair and waited until Maha got up. She would head to his office to discuss her first day and what she would be doing. She got to his office and softly called out as she took her wooden shoes off. 

“Maha?” She didn’t just wanna barge into his office.

“Come in.” She heard from inside. She slide the door and walked in, closing the door as she went inside. 

“Today, you will stand on the pole and balance. If you falter and fall you must get back on. Only after you’ve been on for a full day will you move on to the next task.” He nodded as she bowed respectfully. “The pole is outside on the east side of the monastery. It is 5 ft off of the ground. If you need help getting on it, ask a monk to help.” She nodded. 

“Yes Maha.” He waved at her to dismiss her. She left the room and slid her shoes back on. When she reached the grass to find the pole she slid her shoes off again, leaving them where she took them off. She walked through the grass and found a smile on her lips. “This will be nothing compared to that time I tried to learn how to flip.” She felt Xena’s spirit with her. The familiar feel of love and acceptance. Her eyes watered and she let it come, she didn’t care if the monks saw. She was supposed to be dealing with her emotions, right? She wiped at her tears and saw the pole. It was at least 5'5’ tall and barely was round enough for her feet. Her toes would probably be hanging off of the end. She did a slight jog and then did the flip she almost died trying to learn. She landed on the pole with one foot and then caught her balance slowly putting her other foot on the pole. 

She sighed. “A full day huh?” She whispered to herself. She stared ahead and closed her eyes. She felt the sun and loved it. She got so focused on the feeling of the sun and the love she still felt for Xena that she didn’t notice her foot sliding off until it was too late. The monks had made the edge of the pole rounded. She slipped off and landed on her face. She sat up and looked at the pole. 

She sighed as she flipped up on top of it. She settled her eyes on a part of the gate. She felt her mind drift somewhere else. She saw Xena standing in front of her. She held her hand out and beckoned. Gabrielle took her hand and stepped with her, suddenly being ripped from her daydream as she tumbled to the ground. She was starting to look annoyed. All she needed to do was stand in place. It felt almost as if her mind was the one who had been pushing or pulling her off of the pole. 

She got back on the pole and instead focused on the feeling of her feet on the pole. Her weight meeting the weight of the pole. She opened her eyes and felt the sun. She glanced around at the monks who were staring at her as they passed by. She felt her feet trying to slip and centered herself again. She heard the bell for lunch and was tempted to go inside for her bread and water but he said a full day so, she would stay. 

She heard the bustle of the monks as they ate and then headed to the shrine for the second prayer of the day. 

“Xena.” She said aloud. “I wish you were here. I wish I could hug you and make you laugh.” She frowned, feeling the depression for the first time since being welcomed into the monastery. She moved her body weight from one leg to the other but shortly after falling down again, decided that wouldn’t work. She would just have to stretch her legs as they became tired. She had been standing there since the monks came back from lunch and listened to the conversation around her while also maintaining her balance. 

Soon enough she heard the last bell that signaled for dinner. She started to hum a song and when she felt her feet slipping again, paused, recentered, and then started to hum again. It was a song Xena hummed whenever Gabrielle woke up from the nightmares and horror that plagued her mind. 

It wasn’t soon before she found she was out by herself on the pole, the sun falling down and leaving her in the dark. This would be the hard part. She was left alone with her thoughts. Left alone with the images in her mind. 

She felt her eyes growing heavy. She couldn’t fall. She wouldn’t. If she slept, standing on this pole, it would be a light sleep. She willed her eyes and mind to rest while her body maintained it’s position. She never truly went unconscious so she could recenter her weight and stay atop this pole. 

The moon was at its peak when she had to recenter before she fell. She looked down a little and thought she saw Xena standing there. 

“Xena..?” She was confused. Her warrior was dead.

“You didn’t leave out the furs.” Xena said softly. 

“I’m sorry Xena. Maha said I needed to stand here for a day. I’ll set it out tomorrow when I go to rest. I swear to the Gods Xena. I would never forget you.” She blinked the sting in her eyes away. If she started to cry there’s no way she would be able to stay on the pole. 

“I know you wouldn’t Gabrielle.” Xena looked up at her, love shining in her eyes. “You’re so stubborn.” Xena whispered. 

“I learned that from you.” She pouted at Xena. 

“No, you’ve always been that way. My bard.” Xena smiled at Gabrielle with pride. 

“My warrior.” The sun was starting to come up.


	5. Fushin

She watched the sun rise and sighed. She had about 12 hours to go and she was already exhausted from trying to stay atop the pole. 

She watched the sunlight cover the tree that was to her right. She had enough of a balance that she could turn on the pole without falling off. The light reflected off of the leaves of the tree. Gabrielle had to squint at the tree the light was so bright. She watched as a feminine figure came out from behind the tree. 

“Gabrielle.” The woman frowned at her. As she got closer Gabrielle saw it was Aphrodite. Slowly all of the Gods she thought were dead came from behind the tree. 

“Gabrielle...Gabrielle” They chanted. They wanted her to fall. They wanted her to fail. 

“No!” She screamed at them. “I’m getting Xena back!” She had to catch her balance on the pole. She watched as all of those she had killed and wronged came to surround the pole. The last ones being Solan and Hope.  
“Hope.” She managed to get out. It came out more of a strangled whisper caught in her throat. Her first daughter had caused a lot of pain. She remembered Xena trying to throw her off of a cliff. She remembered the endless purification rituals for the 3 months that followed her killing Hope. She was sobbing on the pole and was slowly starting to fall off. 

The final person that came from behind the tree was Xena. She remembered all of the pain she had caused Xena. From her son being killed, to their crucifixion. She was almost off of the pole when she caught herself. 

Her eyes prickled with tears and her heart broke at the anguish she felt. “I’m coming for you Xena! I’m not going to let you down this time!” She focused on Xena. She focused on remembering all of the times she had seen those blue eyes sparkle at something she had said or a laugh while she was reading Gabrielle's newest ‘Xena Scrolls’. The times they had splashed each other in the bathhouse. The time they got foot fungus and lice. She felt the giggle rise up from the depths of her despair. 

“Gabrielle” They continued, getting louder. She closed her eyes and focused on the memories. The love she felt when she laid beside Xena. The safety of when she was in her arms. The feeling of their lips and breath tangled into each other. The promise of a life together. 

She smiled and opened her eyes. The images of everyone were gone as she looked at the tree again. Their love is what her strong. Their love is what she would use to bring Xena home. 

She heard the first bell and adjusted so she could see the monks headed to the temple and then to the dining area. She watched with mounting curiosity at the words the monks mumbled to each other. She had about 6 hours left if they were headed to breakfast. She smiled to herself. She was almost done, and then she could eat and sit. 

She felt the stomach and instinctively put her hands over her stomach. She had done pretty good at ignoring it so far but she wouldn’t really get to eat until an hour after lunch. If they’d let her eat before the last meal, anyhow. 

She sighed and tried to will time to go faster. She closed her eyes and pretended she was out on a lake in a canoe with Xena. Xena would lean over and look in the water occasionally as Gabrielle would tell her a new story concept or ask her about something from her past. She got lost in her daydream and almost slipped off of the pole. She caught herself before she fell and glanced at the sun to tell the time. Only an hour had passed. 

“Well.” She said aloud. “I am just exhausted. It could be worse though I guess. It could be raining. Or it could be winter. At least the blooms on the trees are beautiful.” Her back was starting to ache from being in a strange position but she pushed it to the back of her mind. She would conquer this test and move on to the next one. 

She ran her hand through her hair. “It’s getting long Xena.” She said to herself. She could almost put it up. She frowned. She found she actually preferred it shorter. She closed her eyes and tried to half sleep like she had that night. She slipped into it and soon heard the second bell. She had actually fell asleep standing up but had conscious enough to stay atop the pole. She opened her eyes and waved at a few of the monks as they passed. They waved back; curiousity settling in their eyes. She had only a little over an hour left. She smiled at the thought. 

She started to hum but then found her throat was too dry to continue so she had to stop. She frowned. There were only a limited amount of stories she could tell herself. She decided instead bask in the feel of the sun. Soon the monks were trickling out of the dining area and soon after that Maha was in front of the pole. 

“Chiko and Eshin took turns watching you. You have passed. You may come down. The monks have taken to calling you Fushin. It means rich heart.” He told her as she jumped down. When she finally landed down she fell to her knees. She looked up at Maha and nodded. 

“The monks honor me with such a name.” Was her reply. She slowly stood up and made her way over to her wooden shoes. She bowed at Maha as she went to leave. 

“Go and pray. Then go to eating hall. You will find a plate for you. After you eat, rest until tomorrow. Then, your next test shall begin.” He bowed at her and left her. 

She gingerly walked to the shrine and got on her knees like she had seen the other monks do.

“I don’t know you yet as a God but thank you for the opportunity to be here. Thank you for giving me a chance to get Xena back. Thank you for the second chance for us to have a life together.” She stayed bowed on the floor for a few moments and then got back up. She went over to the cups of incenses and the candles that were burning. She picked up an unlit incense stick and lit it, blowing it out when the cherry on the end of it stayed lit. She set it in the cup and bowed at the shrine. 

She headed towards the dining area and instantly saw the plate with not one but two small loafs of bread and a small pitcher of water. She quickly ate the first loaf of bread and then tried to slow down with the second. She didn’t want to end up with a stomach ache. She chose not to use the cup and instead drank the water straight from the pitcher. It was only when she was done did she look over and realize that there were a few monks staring at her with their mouths open. She grinned and then quickly went back to her room. 

She quickly moved the table and then set out her bedroll. She looked at the fur for Xena’s bed and ran her hand over it before she laid it beside hers. She got into her bed and imagined Xena was beside her. The feel of Xena was her last thought before her exhaustion finally took her.


End file.
